Brave New Bullying—How to Protect Yourself from Cyberbullying

Jun 3

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Excellent advice, and it encourages and inspires. “Starve them.” I’ve said the same thing. Thanks so much for this post.

Kristen Lamb's Blog

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I’ve talked before about how I train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Recently, I have started assisting with teaching the kid’s class. It is shocking how much time we devote to training kids to stand up to bullies. Bullies, in my opinion, are among the lowest known existing lifeforms. I wouldn’t want to insult cockroaches and fleas by drawing a comparison.

I’d love to say that we leave bullies behind when we are no longer kids, but I think bullying just gets worse and harder to fight. As writers, we deal with bullies a lot. Tragically, I’ve received many messages from semi-suicidal writers who left their dream profession because they had the misfortune of landing in the crosshairs of cyberbullies and no longer could endure the stress.

I have a hard time blaming them. I know what it is like to be willing to do anything to escape the torment.

Kristen’s…

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Posted on 06/03/2015, in Cyber Abuse and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. Linda Andersen | 06/03/2015 at 4:27 pm

    Thanks for your article, Xena. I, too, know what it is like to be bullied–by family members, teachers, employers, and even so-called “friends”. At 15, I tried to commit suicide by overdosing on pills and alcohol. When I woke up the next morning, I thought, “Damn! I can’t even do THAT right!!” I guess there is some truth in the saying that “Survivors become strong in the broken places.”

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    • Linda Andersen | 06/03/2015 at 5:30 pm

      I believe I got the expression wrong. I think it’s supposed to be, “What doesn’t kill you makes you strong in the broken places.”

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    • Xena | 06/03/2015 at 7:02 pm

      Linda, I’m sorry to hear what you experienced as a teen. My goodness! That still goes on and teens, as well as some adults, do take their own lives because of bullying. One thing that the article says, and that I’ve often said, is that bullies/harassers try to re-define their victims. We define ourselves. I heard similar things from Steve Harvey when he had the program on cyberharassment.

      The first thing to do when realizing that a person is harassing or bullying you, is let others know. That might result in one support person, then another, then another until it grows into a large support system. Once the methods of harassers is known, they lose their power. They are like thieves looking for victims who are unaware. They are also creatures of habit, so whatever provokes or emotionally traumatizes one victim, they feel will work on another victim. And, they are undisciplined, so while you continue doing what makes you happy, they agonize over their failures to control you.

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  2. Xena | 06/03/2015 at 7:22 pm

    Since this subject is about bullying/harassers, I might as well put this message out there. My Twitter account is protected. Only those I approve can follow me. The latest person making a request also tweeted to me regarding an article posted here, and wanted more information. Whatever information I have on cyber-harassers that I want to be publicly known is posted here on the blog. Following me on Twitter will not result in any information that is not already posted here on the blog.

    I am not on Twitter for the purpose of engaging in the soap opera, harassment drama.

    I blog, and that means that if anyone wants to discuss what is posted here, they should do it here.

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    • Linda Andersen | 06/03/2015 at 7:32 pm

      You don’t have to worry about ME, Xena–I don’t even use Twitter. I’m attempting to learn Facebook right now and it’s definitely a Love/Hate relationship. More Hate than Love. LOL!

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      • Xena | 06/03/2015 at 8:13 pm

        Linda, if you were on Twitter and asked to follow me, I would have no problem approving you. It’s people on Twitter who popup overnight, who never participated on the blog, and when they ask for approval, I check their timelines to find out they are engaged in the harassment soap opera.

        I don’t do Facebook. It wasn’t long after it opened that people began telling horror stories about Facebook, so I never desired to join that media.

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        • Linda Andersen | 06/03/2015 at 9:41 pm

          I avoided Facebook for the longest time. To me, it’s just another portal for someone to try to hack into your computer. The only reason I finally opened an account was so I could see the videos my daughter makes of my grandsons. She tried to email them to me, but the files are too large.

          I don’t mind messaging on it with my friend in Germany, since he uses it more than email. However, when my niece in Scotland started sending me stupid stuff, it got my hackles up and reminded me why I’ve never liked her!

          (I’m really not a nice person. It’s just an act!) LOL!

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  3. Kev | 06/05/2015 at 10:18 am

    Excellent cause!

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    • Xena | 06/05/2015 at 1:38 pm

      Kev, some years ago, a group of bloggers got together to compare notes about harassers. It really helped. Then, when I reported their methods here, it helped others recognize when they were being baited to do the dirty work of the cyber-extortionists. We opened a private blog and I’m thinking of opening it to more bloggers so that if any blogger is harassed, or receives a comment that demeans and/or defames another blogger, they can come there for support. What ya think?

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      • Kev | 06/06/2015 at 11:19 am

        I think that it’s a great idea. It would provide an avenue of support that bloggers would feel comfortable with. It’s not easy to deal with bullying and victims become very apprehensive about seeking support for various reasons. So having a support group/media that they are already familiar with (a blog in this case) would make things somewhat easier for bullying victims so they can realise that there truly is support out there and that there’s no shame in being a victim of bullying or in sharing one’s experience and seeking support.

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